Listen to Yourself and Take a Break

It’s been a long time since I’ve written anything… I’m honestly kinda scared to get back into it. Even throughout the time I’ve taken a step back from trying all this, I’ve come back to feeling like this is something that I would like to do and that God is still pushing me towards. And it’s time to surrender and give it my all. 

It’s been challenging for almost two years… You know what I mean, COVID hit and everyone’s world pretty much flipped upside down. Suddenly everything changed, the most basic things we did changed. Everybody had to figure out how they should navigate the changes for themselves and their families. People disagreed on just about everything. The mental strain of 2020 was consuming, and there was more. Life didn’t really stop, it got harder. Financial hardships, emotional hardships, relational strains, MORE political strain, you name it and it probably got harder. I know it did for me. 

If you’re new here let me just say it, I’ve got pretty bad anxiety and as one could imagine it was absolutely terrible in 2020. I was working in a job that couldn’t be remote since it was in a lab and honestly management wasn’t taking it as seriously as I’d wished. My husband was able to work remotely but since I wasn’t and my work was just pretending it wasn’t as bad as it actually was, I knew if I got it I would give it to him. I cried almost every night and panicked that I would lose David and it would be my fault because of my job. I was scared senseless! And we did get it, and it was bad. I can’t think about it without almost crying, so I’ll stop there. 

Just like everyone else, I had other issues going on that I couldn’t just ignore because the world was stoppin in some ways. My job was quickly becoming a toxic work environment in which I felt suffocated. My coworkers and I weren’t seeing eye to eye on just about anything, and I wasn’t perfect either, but it was really bad for me. That added to my stress and I knew that if I didn’t change (that’ll be another article) then I’d be fired soon. It just wasn't working out. So I got a new job, and that involved completely switching industries and learning new things. Again, I might write a separate article about all that another time. 

So what’s my point? Life has been hard. Ever since 2020 it feels like things have just kinda stacked up against us, and there have been plenty of bright spots and amazing things that have happened, but for medical issues, anxiety, and job stress. It was feeling all so taxing and like I didn’t have my footing… 

So what did I do? 

Not consciously, but I took a break. All of a sudden I found myself doing nothing and I think it’s what I needed. My mind and body MADE me take a break. I started going to therapy because I knew that I needed some kind of change and I needed help to get there. For the last two years I’e been going to therapy because I knew that I needed some kind of change and I needed help to get there. For the last two years I’ve been going to therapy and barely have been doing anything with my blog, as you know if you follow me on instagram. Honestly, it’s what I needed. 

You know when you walk through a season and then you look back and you can then see all the ways God pushes you along? That’s what it kinda felt like. Although David and I are still walking through some medical issues, I'm putting my trust that it will also work out. 

Looking back I can see how God led me to this, how important it truly was. Through this time we were able to find a Church and actually call it home. We’ve got plugged into it and have started to creat a Church family for ourselves. It’s been beautiful, we feel seen and loved by these people. We’ve invested there and it’s made such a difference for us. 

Then that has led me to more of my faith, reading more, praying more, just connecting more with Jesus. Therapy has also helped with that as it’s helped me let go of my sense of control and needing to understand everything. 

What I’m getting at is that this break, as unintentional as it was, was good for me. I wish I would've listened to myself and just taken the break, because contrary to some it is okay to take a step back and take care of yourself. Actually it's a must. 

So are you feeling like you need a break? If so, you should listen to that and take a step back. Listening to our bodies is of vital importance, it’s our one body we have. I constantly have to remind myself that it’s okay to take a step back. What I do is in my head I ask myself if this has to be done today or can it wait until a later time? That always helps a lot because I tend to think everything is of high importance and that I need to get it all done the moment it pops into my head. That’s not true though and I always have to remind myself of that. 

It’s hard, honestly I felt like a failure when I realized I took a huge step back. However, taking care of yourself doesn’t make you a failure, it makes you responsible. The culture of hustle hustle is damaging. Things take time and that's okay, it’s okay to take a step back when you need to. It's okay to take are of your mental health, it’s just as important as you physical health. True story. 

So maybe this is your push to take a step back and just let yourself rest. Rest isn’t a dirty word, it’s okay. We need to rest, to take care of ourselves and listen to our body when it’s screaming at you to chill. Make a list of what makes you happy and feel rested and then pick something to do. It’s freeing to realize that you don’t have to be doing something all the time. Sometimes sitting on the couch watching a show all day is just what you need and that’s okay. 

Take care of yourself, rest, and let yourself be happy.